The Uncorked Conversation
The Uncorked Conversation Podcast with Allyson Scammell Episode #19: Seeing Our Core Gifts Comes from Believing Transcripts
You are listening to the Uncorked Conversation Podcast with Allyson Scammell episode number 19.
Hello and welcome to the Uncorked Conversation, a podcast for soul-guided, passion filled women entrepreneurs who want to uncork big magic in life and business without burning out. We’ll get to the truth of how to uncork our core gifts, the ones we keep hidden inside, and how to infuse those gifts into our personal and professional life in a way that feels like magic.
We’ll also uncover how to truly experience the joy of the journey through smart time management and planning. I’m your host Allyson Scammell, let’s uncork.
Hello Shantipax nation, what is happening today? I remember when I first started getting my life coach certification one of the first questions that they ask you is what do you want your niche to be. And at first I was like well what do you mean, my niche is life coaching.
And they’re like No no no no you can’t just be a life coach, you have to be very specific about your target audience and what you’re offering and what results you’re going to create in their lives. And that was really hard for me to answer at the time because I just didn’t know. I’d never done anything like that before. I didn’t know what an ideal client looked like. I didn’t know what my niche should be.
And it’s always a trap of the ego mind to think that well I’m here to serve everybody, I’m not going to turn anyone away who wants to work with me. And that is something that I’ve learned to get away from because we are really here to niche and we are here to get specific and we are here to share our core gifts which are unique and specific to ideal people who are also unique and specific.
So I’ve come to see myself as a core gift coach and as I get to know my own core gifts better and better I realize coaching others to help them identify their core gifts is the perfect way for me to be in full expression of my gifts. And one of the things that I love about this work is that I don’t rely on the teachings and writings of others. I don’t have a handbook that I refer to. I do read a lot of books on the topic and listen to podcasts and YouTube and blogs and anything that I feel called to consume.
But my body of work comes through the work I do with myself and the work I do with my clients and because I’m not to the point where I’ve had a number of clients who I’ve helped I really feel like I am getting that body of work. And so I’ve developed what I call the core gift process and I’ve talked about this in previous episodes.
The core gifts process has three stages. The first is to define your core gifts and your shadow gifts. The second stage is to infuse those gifts through intended and inspired action. And the last stage is to refine your gifts to grow and live deeper into your expertise and your mastery.
And by far the stage that I feel the biggest resistance and I feel like there’s the biggest learning curve is the define. People have a hard time to identify and believe their core gifts and that my friends is the topic of today’s episode.
We live in a world that tells us that we have to see it to believe it. In order for something to be real or possible or true we must first see it with our own eyes. We must have proof that it is real or true or possible then and only then we can believe it.
The core gift process requires that we reverse that thinking to we have to believe it to see it. In today’s episode I’ll take you through the responses I most often hear from clients after their first attempt to define their core gifts. I’ll reveal what happens when we believe in our core gifts and I’ll offer a way in which we can stop second guessing our unique abilities.
So as I mentioned it’s always the defined stage of the process where the biggest resistance seems to pop up and it’s interesting I get similar responses as we go through the process I take clients through to identify their core gifts and then we get to the point where we can actually name the gift.
And clients will either come back to me with oh my gosh, aha moment, this is life altering, big breakthrough, I can’t believe I’m just learning this now. So that’s always kind of fun when that happens. But that is the exception, not the rule. Normally I get something like “Yeah I’m good at that. Of course I’ve always known that about myself. But it’s nothing special.”
And I think people are disappointed that no big mystery has been revealed. Therefore it can’t be special, it can’t be a core gift, core gifts have to be big and mysterious and magical. And they are big and mysterious magical and they can be something you’ve always known about yourself. And so that is perfectly great.
Another interesting response I get from people and I always find this particularly fascinating is when they say “No no no that’s not my core gift, that’s what I’m bad at.” And normally people have this reaction because something happened when they were a child when they were expressing shadow gifts and even core gifts where an adult figure or role model came back to them and said Don’t do that.
No no no no, that’s not what we do in polite society, please cork that up and we don’t want to hear that or see that.” And so as a child this person has concluded that their core gifts is bad therefore they’ve spent their entire life looking for evidence that supports the thought that this unique ability I have is bad.
And so when this happens it’s always so fascinating for me because I will offer to them the flip side of what they’re seeing and the flip side is to demonstrate how unique that gift is and how powerful it is and how incredible it is that they were able to endure or to maneuver a situation the way they did relying on their core gifts.
And most of the time clients see it immediately and they’re like “Oh yeah you’re right. I just never looked at it that way before.” And so it’s just a matter of reframing and taking the exact same circumstances but shining a light on those circumstances in a different way.
And then this is probably what I get the most often. We go through the process, we get to the part where we do the first draft of the definition. And I always tell people to define their core gifts to fill in the blank of this sentence.
“I have the ability to … fill in the blank” because that’s just an easy way and a clear way to say it. And what they’ll say is “Yeah Allyson I hear you but I don’t believe them. I’m not sure. I think we need to spend more time getting clearer.” I always feel like there’s this like never ending quest for clarity, just get more and more clear. And the reason why some people have a never ending quest for clarity is because they’re second guessing.
They just can’t see the core gift therefore they can’t believe it. And so this is why we need to flip that socially conditioned expression around and say let’s start to believe our core gifts, believe in them and then we will start to see them and then we will start to own them. And when we truly fully with all parts of our being own our core gifts we are unstoppable.
I love this quote by Marianne Williamson that is quoted a lot. “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”
And to this quote I say yes and. I think what scares us most is the thought that we won’t share our light, that our light will stay corked up inside of us, that we are too frightened to share our light and that is our biggest fear. So one powerful way to uncork our core gifts, to share them and take down the barriers that keeps those core gifts stuffed inside is to believe they are real.
We have to believe we are born with unique abilities. No one else on the planet has the same one. We are special. Those gifts are our super powers and we were born to share them.
When we truly start to believe that our core gifts are real then they come clearer in to light. We start to see when they show up, we start to notice when we’re in shadow which helps us shift back into the light. We start to realize how powerful our gifts are.
We’re no longer afraid to share them because we know that they’re real and that there are people out there who are waiting for them. Not only are they waiting for them, they need them. Then we get called to take inspired and aligned action that will take us to being in full expression of our core gifts and the people to whom our gifts are intended comes into clear focus.
When we get trapped in the mindset that you have to see it to believe it this process is all fueled by one thing and one thing only. Evidence. So if you don’t have evidence then it must not be true. It must be doubted, second guessed or even denied.
But if you’ve never gone through this process before, if you’ve never considered what you’re core gifts are the evidence may not be clearly there. It may be but it likely for most of us is not. Therefore we have to shift to belief and better than belief is shifting to our inner knowing from
our inner being that will tell us clearly and unequivocally that our core gifts are true and our powerful. And when we start to believe that then the evidence starts to appear.
So how can we stop second guessing a fundamental truth about who we are and why we’re here? Well it gets back to evidence, collecting evidence. Because we’ve been socially conditioned to believe that we have to see it to believe it then help your socially conditioned thinking mind to believe it. Start to collect evidence.
So take your first crack at identifying your core gifts, see where there’s resistance, see where they’re second guessing and then start to see where and when you’re core gifts and your shadow gifts appear. And start to recognize when you’re being successful in expressing your core gifts.
And this is how you know whether or not you’re being successful. It’s not in results, it’s not in the number of sales, the number of likes, shares. Results like sales, likes and shares can be a good indicator but it doesn’t tell the truest story.
The litmus test for success is how you feel. Do you feel a strong high vibrational joyful sense of the C’s; creativity, connection ,contribution. Do you feel good engaging in those gifts, expressing those gifts. Do they feel aligned. And if the answer to that is yes then that is evidence starting to form to prove that these core gifts of yours are real and you are indeed expressing them.
Because here’s the deal. We express our core gifts and our shadow gifts our whole lives. It’s just that we don’t always have awareness and recognition that that’s what we’re doing. So what we’re doing through this process is shifting to conscious mindfulness as to when we are in the process of sharing those gifts and then to start collecting evidence that proves that our core gifts are real.
So getting back to my example of my coaching journey. I didn’t know at the beginning what my core gifts were and how I should be utilizing my time as a coach but I engaged in the creative process which I talk about a lot on the podcast where I was coaching people, seeing how it felt, tweaking and refining what I was offering and to whom and I was doing it again.
And it was through that creative process that I started to see that what I really wanted to do was help people identify core gifts. And when I went through my own core gift journey I was one of those people okay that had the aha breakthrough oh my gosh my life has changed moment.
But then after that dust settled I still went into my second guessing. And then I started to look for evidence that proved these gifts were real. And when I started looking for the evidence it came back to me all the time through how I felt. And when I felt like I was just in that timeless, joyful, creative, contributive state I knew that I was offering up my core gifts.
S when people came back to me and said Allyson you helped me, you created huge shifts in my life, I was able to create big results. I knew that it was an expression of my core gifts. I knew that these gifts were real and they were something to be owned and not doubted.
So how can you collect evidence that supports your hypothesis if that’s how you want to see it that your core gifts are what they are and so you can start proving that it’s true? And in the
collection of evidence that is when you start to get clearer and you get more feedback regarding just exactly what your core gifts are.
Because the process of defining your core gifts last your whole lifetime. You’re always tweaking and refining your definition as you live deeper and deeper into their meaning which I think is so exciting. So in this process of collecting evidence you’re also getting clearer but never second guessing, always believing. And even if you have no idea whatsoever what your core gifts are if you believe that you have them that is the first step to the process.
So my challenge for you this week is a big one. I challenge you to start believing it in order to see it. And when you believe it you see it. And when you see it you own it. And when you own it you are unstoppable. See where you can start collecting evidence that your core gifts are what you think they are.
And in that evidence you collect tweak and refine so the definition feels like it is in greater alignment to your truth. And share them. They’re called core gifts for a reason. They are meant to be gifted and gift them to the people you feel most inspired, most called, most joyful to gift them to. And those people, those ideal people will give you so much evidence that what you are offering is true that you’ll never ever second guess yourself again.
So dear people of Shantipax nation which is what I call my community, thank you so much for listening, for tuning in. I honor you. I am grateful to you. If you’d like other people to have access to this information I kindly ask you to give this episode a rating and review on whichever platform you listen and subscribe and share it with a few friends. And until next time, stay uncorked.
Are you ready to uncork your core gifts to up level your skills, sales and satisfaction? Then head on over to my Web site at Shantipax.com/gifts and download your free video and worksheet that shows you step by step how to define your unique abilities so that you know exactly where to spend your time in your business to get the biggest results. Again that’s Shantipax.com, S-H-A-N-T-I-P-A-X . com/gifts.